maybe i should be pesky

these days i call up strangers,

i initiate meet ups.

i anxiously hold onto my notepad,

and get led into some certain private space of another person's.

sometimes i'm in a loss for words.

but in the end,i pull through an hour's session.

parched,

with many thoughts racing through my head.

a little excitement,

a little uncertain.

i'm always threading a thin line,

trying to keep my interviews well within my timeframe,

but not pushing my profiles too much.

i don't want to be a leech

but i can't be too laid back either.

and then multiply that struggle by 3, or maybe 4.

because at any one time,

i have to handle 3 or 4 pending contacts simultaneously.

and feel frustrated all over 3 to 4 times.

i'd rather my contact tell me in my face

yes, no, or i need more discussion in this or i'm uncomfortable with this,

rather than being constantly missing-in-action,

or doing silly things altogether which makes me feel like i'm a crook

with an ulterior motive.

i'm tired.

is there anyone out there

who would reply back to me

without me constantly hounding after them?